


Location, Location, Location

by Ononymous



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 03:45:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: A glamburger and some nice cream. Sounds pretty good when you're at a street market, right? Well that's what everyone thought. Makes sense they'd be next to each other, right? Well it does. Until...





	Location, Location, Location

**Author's Note:**

> Original suggestion: Maybe some Burgerpants x Nice Cream Guy stuff?

The early morning air was filled with bangs and clunks as the park's colonisation by stalls reached its zenith. Everyone was looking forward to the street market to advertise and demonstrate monster produce. It had been Asgore's idea when he noticed some kids were looking a little down. The fact this was his idea the last time some kids were looking down a few weeks ago, and a fortnight before then, and for Gerson's birthday the week before then, hadn't really sunk in with anyone, because markets were fun. There was arts and crafts, games, souvenirs, antiques, brand new souvenirs that looked like antiques, music, puzzles, puns, irritation at puns and a necessary awareness of ergonomics. And of course there was food.

The designated food area had started work the earliest, given they needed extra time to prepare their wares. One space however remained vacant. Not from a lack of planning, but from its owner's fortune of not needing a stall. Said owner soon arrived, pushing his large cart in front of him, and parked it in the space. The blue rabbit then opened it up to check his stock, and an icy gust from within confirmed everything was still delightfully cold, his beady little nose twitching as the gust tickled his face.

"Looks like it's gonna be beautiful today," he said for the third time that morning, "not a cloud in the sky!"

After a moment, his long ears swivelled around. He couldn't hear anything, and that was the strange thing. Last time he was at one of these markets, his relentless optimism had provoked a dour response by now, and its absence puzzled him. Looking around, he realised the space he occupied still had plenty of room. Enough for at least one other stall. And it clicked what was missing.

"Hey," he called to a Froggit across the path, "you seen the glamburger stand round here?"

"Ribbit."

"Okay, thanks!"

Chaining his cart to a nearby bicycle rack, he walked past the Froggit's Water of the Ruins stall and the Spider Bakery and the other concessions. The shocking pink sign or the completely unshocking brown cat were nowhere to be found. He knew the stall's operator wouldn't have minded not being here for a change, but his boss definitely would. So he strayed farther afield, down a row of tables with old trinkets and books and toys and their owners keeping young kids from wandering off unsupervised, mostly with verbal reminders but occasionally with magical barriers or ropes. From those trying to offload old junk there came the new junk, an explosion of colour as artists of all skill levels prepared the ever-popular sunlit landscapes, many monster households having at least two hung up at any given time. His ears subtly turned away from a mixing table operated by a ghost as speakers taller than him played a thumping test track. Eventually he reached the end of the stalls, a few monsters and humans being turned away by a guard since the market wasn't opened yet. And then...

"Oh, there you are!"

Halfway down the street, well clear of the designated market area, was the pink sign he'd been looking for. The glamburger stand looked out of place amid the plainly coloured buildings around it. But its unusual position was no accident, for its operator sat behind it looking completely unconcerned, enjoying a rare moment of peace. The cat turned in the direction of his hail, his eyes safely concealed by dark sunglasses.

"Oh, hey." He allowed the rabbit to tussle the fur on his head.

"How are you doing? Still not used to the sun?"

"Nope, I'm plenty used to the sun. As long as it stays on its side of these glasses." He wiggled them to indicate.

"Ha ha," laughed the Rabbit, "but isn't it amazing how bright everything is?"

"Last time I tried to appreciate how bright everything is, I couldn't see where I was going and bumped into Jerry. Didn't get away from him for an hour while he prattled on about his latest online ban."

The rabbit smiled. "Oh, that sounds..." He continued to smile. It sounded, that was all that mattered. "Hey, how come you're not with the other food vendors?"

He puffed his chest impressively. "I got a promotion."

"Really? That's fantastic, congratulations!"

"Yeah, well, I say promotion, the boss just told me to do a bunch more stuff and made me look behind myself when I asked about a raise, and he was gone when I looked back. But he definitely did say I could pick where to run the burger stall, I've got it recorded." He raised his phone to confirm he had such proof.

"Oh." He scratched a fuzzy cheek in thought. "Well then, why all the way over here?"

"It's quiet."

A long blue ear drooped slightly. "Didn't you say your boss has quotas for days like this? Won't you get in trouble if you don't sell anything?"

He extinguished his cigarette and shrugged. "What will be will be, Buddy. Figure I can handle myself."

"Oh. Well, if you're sure..."

"Sure I'm sure. Hey, better get back to your nice cream, man, heard a rumour the King was gonna open up half an hour early to please everyone."

Such whispers were less rumour and more exactly how every previous market had unfolded. "Okay then. Have a great day!"

He reached up and patted his visitor on the shoulder, then fumbled in his pocket for another cigarette. "Thanks."

The rabbit didn't remember much of what he saw on the way back to his cart. He was surprised when it appeared before him, underlining how deep in thought he must have been.

"Croak?"

"Oh, I'm fine, thanks."

There wasn't much time to linger on it, because a slowly growing sound of chatter caught his attention. It was actually twenty minutes before the advertised opening time, so the King must have held out for a while. And the sun had melted any notion that nice cream was for a certain time of day, for he soon had a steady line.

"That shirt looks great on you!"

"I'm not sure what's warmer, the sun or your smile."

"Absolutely it's cool, but you're cooler."

"Your happy kids is payment enough! But yeah, that'll be eight forty-seven."

As expected it was a busy morning, but that just meant he made a lot of people happy. All the same, he was glad to reach lunch time. His ear was still throbbing from when a human baby had yanked on it. If her giggles hadn't been so cute he might have gotten annoyed about it. He propped an 'Out to Lunch' sign on the cart and grabbed two nice creams from it before locking it.

"Hey, you want a..." He was offering a nice cream to the vacant spot next to him. "Oh, right..."

It was more of a struggle to navigate through the heaving crowds now, especially as they congregated around this or that attraction, such as one he could just about make out a nasally voice berating a deeper and more laid back one over some verbal offence, but couldn't identify the speakers. Even after clearing the official boundary of the market the crowd was dense, though it didn't take long to clear up and find himself at the glamburger stall again, where its operator was busy scribbling amendments into what looked like a script.

"Oh hey."

The cat looked up, wearing a contented smile. "Hi again. What can I do ya for?"

He held the blue wrapper aloft. "I just thought you might like this..."

"Oh, cool. Thanks, dude." He put down his play and tore into it.

"So," said the rabbit, "been busy round here?"

"Nope," he said, satisfied, "maybe two burgers and a face steak."

"Oh. Well, uh, I guess the peace is nice."

"You betcha! I had time to find a whole subplot that was aimless filler! People these days want stories to get to the point."

"What if you miss something and a character acts really weird because we don't see why?"

"Eh, they'll get the gist. That reminds me, I don't really need this prophecy, it doesn't mesh with a surprise twist I'm planning anyway."

The rabbit massaged his tender ear. "Hey, since it's servers' lunch, you wanna look around for a bit?"

The smile faded a little. "No can do, buddy." He lifted up the leg of his trousers, showing an ankle bracelet. "This goes off if I'm too far away from the stall during opening hours. Don't need another attitude adjustment meeting." He shuddered.

The Nice Cream salesman frowned. "Why set yourself up in such a quiet part of town anyway?"

The cat tapped his sunglasses. "It's like a vacation. Whatever I'll earn will be worth it. You'll see."

"Oh, okay... Well, I need to get back..."

"'kay. See you later." He returned to his work, crossing out an eloquent looking passage in the early part of the story.

The dense crowds were something of a relief to fight his way though, because focusing on not getting lost was a distraction from what was gnawing at him. He didn't even mind the grumpy looking migosp at the head of the small queue which had formed by his cart.

"Here you go sir, have a lovely day."

"Here you are, kid, have a lovely day."

"Here you are, sir, have a lovely day."

"Here you go, ma'am, have a lovely day."

He hadn't caught how rote and repetitive his compliments now were. The atmosphere was as socially warm as it was thermally warm, and that alone sustained his smile, but the well rehearsed motions of selling nice cream meant it was harder not to think about why things felt off.

"One, two, three... oh! Sorry ma'am, looks like I'm all out." He allowed her to peek into the cart to prove its emptiness.

"Oh dear, that is unfortunate. Well, the children can have one each, and I suppose..."

"I can go without. After all, it was your idea to get some."

"Alright," and in a whisper the rabbit half-heard, "we may be able to share..."

He wasn't focused on that, or the suppressed chuckling, or even his customers at all beyond giving them the correct change. Selling out a little early was a good problem to have. If it had been earlier he might have dashed back to his shop to resupply, but at this rate the market was already winding down, so there was little point. He thought of just exploring the market by himself, but the very notion of it being by himself changed that plan. Soon his cart was parting the already-thinning crowds, a 'Closed' sign confirming the situation, and for the third time he cleared the market.

"Hey buddy, changing location? Oh, sold out, huh? Good job."

"Yeah it is," he said mechanically, parking the cart next to the stall. "Any more customers?"

A character important to a theme of the story wound up on the cutting floor to reduce the length. "A couple."

Disinterest was the cat's bread and butter, but in this context it finally provoked the rabbit's curiosity. "Seriously, why on earth-?"

"Becauuuuuuuse..." he indicated the time on his phone, "Now."

A bell jingled behind them, and they turned around to see a shop door opening, with seemingly nobody there. The Nice Cream salesman looked up at a deep purple sign, and realised it was Muffet's coffee shop. Most monster food sellers could only choose to operate either their shop or a stall, but spiders had the manpower to be really good at multitasking. And speaking of manpower...

"Hey there, little buddies. Shift over?"

A dark shadow had spread from the shop door, reaching the stall and covering it. They both watched a legion of spiders clamber onto the counter, high-pitched chittering grabbing the attention of two unnerved humans across the street. The cat got out a notepad.

"Okay, so one max veggie, one with a fried egg, one plain and one with extra hubris, right?"

The legion barked in unison, giving a barely audible "Yes." He got to work, plopping four sparkly patties and an egg on the grill, cooking them with expertly practiced boredom. The rabbit watched, understanding slowly growing, as each of the four burgers were assembled according to the pre-arranged request. And then he took a knife and chopped the burgers up into minuscule portions, each seized by a cohort of spiders and carried off. One cohort carried a purple company card, which the cat used to ring up the order.

"They pay full price for each piece," he explained, "guess when it ain't their money they're more generous with it."

Much of the shadow hung around the stall for a while, the pieces of glamburger slowly melting away as though in acid. Then tiny streams scuttled off in one direction or another, the workers heading home before Muffet returned from the bakery stand.

"So that's why you were here all day." The rabbit was beaming in spite of himself. "You probably made as much from them as you would have from being in the middle of the market."

The cat threatened to go full Cheshire. "Exactly. Work smarter, not harder." The two servers looked at each other. The cat's eyes still concealed by sunglasses. "What's wrong, buddy?"

"Oh, nothing, I had a great day too, completely sold out!" He continued to beam.

"...I know a forced smile when I see one."

He allowed himself to sigh. "It's just... I guess it's a shame you weren't around, is all..."

The sunglasses betrayed nothing. Then two beady little noses were nuzzling, two sets of ears relaxing in the intimate moment. They broke apart, the cat looking away.

"...sorry, man. So busy trying to avoid the crappy parts of this job I neglected a good part."

"No, you're not obligated to make me feel better."

"But I like doing that. It makes me feel better."

The rabbit chuckled, resting a forgiving hand on his shoulder. "And I know how much you need to feel better sometimes."

"Yeah, I guess. I'll talk to you about it beforehand next time. Welp," he reached down and disarmed the ankle bracelet, "hungry?"

"Yeah! Sushi?"

"God, yes. Oh, I don't have much cash, I was paid by card."

"Don't worry, it's on me. You paid for the popcorn at the movies. But I gotta return my cart first. What about your stall?"

"Got it covered." He put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. What remained of the legion swarmed around the stall and it slowly started to move down the street.

"Twenty percent discount," he said, "worth it."

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
